If you wouldn’t cancel on your friend, why would you cancel on yourself?

I don’t know about you, but there have been so many times when I’ve made plans with friends and stuck to my commitment despite not feeling up to it. However, when it comes to things that I’ve just booked for myself, like yoga or a walk or painting pottery, I’ll cancel on myself without a second thought.

Am I prioritising myself by doing or not doing what I want? Or am I giving myself the message that a little bit of effort to do something I wanted to do or enjoy doing isn’t worth it? Am I telling myself I’m not worth it?

It can feel hard to prioritise self-care. Sometimes it feels selfish when you see that others benefit from your time. But remember, you are also benefiting from your time! Sometimes it feels like an effort, especially if you’re feeling stressed or worried or simply low. But remember, you always feel better afterwards for doing it!

So how do you create a self-care habit and stick to it?

I’ll be honest, I haven’t mastered this myself yet, but it’s a work in progress and here’s what I’ve learned.

Find what works for you.

Not everyone enjoys sitting still for a two-hour meditation. Find things that work for you. It may be reading a book or going for a dog walk or meeting up with friends or taking a long bath. Don’t force yourself to do what works for everyone else if it doesn’t work for you.

Book a date with yourself.

This has been a game changer for me. I use my diary to book EVERYTHING including reminders to phone someone back, but I wasn’t using it to book dates with myself. So I’ve started booking in my self care time. I put my dog walking time in so that it’s protected and let my partner know I’m busy. If this doesn’t work for you, then what would be a good reminder to yourself?

Don’t cancel!

Yep, this is the tricky bit. It’s easy to just move it to the next day and then the next day and then decide we’ll just start the self care next week and then we’re a few months down the line and haven’t taken any time for ourselves. If you’re going to cancel, first ask yourself, if this was a date booked with a friend or your partner, would you cancel on them? If not, then why would you cancel on yourself?

Know your barriers.

It’s helpful to understand what gets in the way so that you can do what you need to do to lessen those barriers. If you enjoy a morning swim but always forget your coin for the locker and then can’t be bothered to ask reception, keep a pound coin in your car. If you love doing yoga in the morning but find that once you get up, you don’t feel very motivated, take steps to make it a little bit easier- lay out your clothes the night before, maybe even lay out your yoga mat ready to step onto it.

Get support.

When we start new habits, it’s easy to feel disheartened by setbacks and as I said earlier, it’s easy to cancel on ourselves! So get support. Ask your partner to support you with your new self-care habits, maybe as a reminder or person to hold you accountable, or ask them to join you on your walk or on your yoga mat!

Have fun!

It shouldn’t even need to be said… but self-care should be fun! It shouldn’t feel like a chore or you won’t commit to it. Do things that you enjoy, that nourish your mind, body and soul!

 

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